Life could be awesome if people wouldnt steal my cigarette lighters all the time
Every normal human can buy a lighter and use it until it’s broken, or plain empty. Some use their shit expensive zippo’s for decades without ever losing track of it’s current place.
Not me. Wherever i go, whatever i do, i return without a lighter – only to have my friends handing them back to me, weeks later, EMPTY.
If i get to wake up at my girlfriend’s place and, by heavenly accident, still have a few JP’s with me that haven’t fallen victim to someone else’s breakfast, you can be damn sure there’s not a single match in the whole house – of which there are millions when she’s there and not at work, where she obviously has the job to initiate wood fires if you go by the number of cigarette lighters she gets out of her pockets every time she returns home.
Even if i’m a littlebit sluggish in handling small stuff ( i was notorious for losing a million hair ties a day – half of them not my own ) , how can my whole social environment act as my friends when in reality they see only some kind of cheap Gazprom in me?!
And the ONE time a day you try to run away with your gf’s lighter you’re the mean great satan that only exploits her goodwill and friendlyness.
I could have bought British Petrol with the money i spent for cigarette lighters there
