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Home » Themen » General Forums » art » The Colour of Moonlight

The Colour of Moonlight

Posted In: art

      • lovewithdiamonds
          lovewithdiamonds on 15 Oktober, 2006 um 0756 Uhr #869

          The face of the moon peers like an innocent child
          Through the open windows
          Its transparent eyes crying a thousand
          milky tears on the dark, wild sea.
          I hear the sound of waves exhaling on
          the sandy shore.

          A chill zephyr caresses my curtains, billowing them into the air and
          letting them
          sag
          down
          again.

          I breathe deeply and smell a dank coppery fragrance.
          The moon pulses with an electric white light,
          Standing stark against
          the blackness of the night.

          I look out my window at the shadowed world
          beneath me
          Everything splashed in the
          Silvery blaze
          I see a silhoutetted shape seated on the bench
          outside my house
          The figure turns toward me and
          Gestures in recognition
          I stare very hard at the cloaked shadow, certain I recognise its form

          But before I have a chance to identify it,
          It slips out
          of the tarnished bronze light
          And into the gloomy shadows
          And disappears as silently
          as it arrived.

          I hear an eerie bark in the distance, and a lupine howl echoes and silences the bark abruptly

          The coming dawn is still
          And silence
          Reigns with the moon once again…

        • insidedistuo
            insidedistuo on 16 Oktober, 2006 um 0559 Uhr #6631

            This was just beautiful LWD… 8)

          • lovewithdiamonds
              lovewithdiamonds on 16 Oktober, 2006 um 1317 Uhr #6632

              thanks….but like Navre….I’d welcome some criticism….

            • insidedistuo
                insidedistuo on 16 Oktober, 2006 um 2038 Uhr #6633

                Hmmmm . Ok, I dont know enough about writing poetry to give much criticism …
                I will leave that to the experts.. 😉
                IO

                * peeks around for Navre…. LOL

              • maestro
                  maestro on 17 Oktober, 2006 um 1228 Uhr #6634

                  Noone is ever critisizing my pictures either, so i wont start here 😡

                • lovewithdiamonds
                    lovewithdiamonds on 17 Oktober, 2006 um 1416 Uhr #6635

                    touchy touchy..

                    guess i will have to make do with compliments then…Until Navre decides to haul his ass back here….

                  • vincent_the_red
                      vincent_the_red on 18 Oktober, 2006 um 1823 Uhr #6636

                      I suppose I have some criticism for your poem, since no one else seems to be willing.

                      I find your poem to be too perfect. There are no apparent flaws in spelling or grammar, and since it was basically freestyle, it didn’t have to conform to any specific form. It held my attention far too well, and the imagery was too beautiful.
                      Over all, you just did too good of a job on it.

                      😈

                    • lovewithdiamonds
                        lovewithdiamonds on 18 Oktober, 2006 um 1836 Uhr #6637

                        oh man – that’s the best review ever…for my ego..

                        poetry is something i love…and i’m a perfectionist…but i hate this poem..dunno why…but i do…

                      • navre
                          navre on 20 Oktober, 2006 um 1830 Uhr #6638

                          Ask and you shall recive….

                          I could If given enough motivation compose a written formal analsys on the poem, yet for the moment I choose not to do so simply because I plan on reading it a few more times. I am rather picky about my poetry and in truth few manage to catch my intrest. I was lauded in my poetry class ( which just finished, in grand fashon with marked reciatals of orignal works my selected members of the class ) as the one who always has something negative to say about the assigned poetry readings…I found them boring. I like your poem as with all poems I like It has something that manages to catch my attention. I one knows me they should know what this is but more fun is a like response of a poem in similar fashon along the same lines, as reading others poems often can inpires those to write their own works. So for you DWL I give this “nods his head “

                          La` Luna

                          From upon high staring down an all,
                          Her gaze casts a silvery glow
                          Looking skyward one acknowledges her glance
                          Whom do you see…?
                          The maiden, the mother, or be it the crone?
                          Caught in the moment, captivated by beauty,
                          revealed only by the night sky
                          Hidden by the light of day,
                          Yet still she looms
                          Awaiting the next sunset,
                          As to dance among the stars.

                        • robc666
                            robc666 on 23 Dezember, 2006 um 0407 Uhr #6639

                            @LoveWithDiamonds wrote:

                            thanks….but like Navre….I’d welcome some criticism….

                            Not sure if i’m the right person to be offering critisim about someone’s work as i’m not much of a poet. But what i would like to say is how well your poem caught my attention; the atomsphere and imagery were simply captavating.
                            It’s hard to veiw your own work with a dispassionate eye because you’re too close to the subject. You say you dont like this poem, i say it’s fantastic and keep you the good work.

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