Redefinitions
Zitat von lovewithdiamonds am 8 April, 2006, 0833 UhrAlternative meanings for some everyday words....
The winners are...
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n.), a Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Alternative meanings for some everyday words....
The winners are...
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n.), a Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Zitat von vincent_the_red am 9 April, 2006, 0106 UhrGenius.........Pure genius........
Genius.........Pure genius........
Zitat von lovewithdiamonds am 9 April, 2006, 0221 UhrThe Washington Post's STYLE INVITATIONAL asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some recent winners:
1. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
5. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
6. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
7. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
8. Glibido: All talk and no action.
9. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
10. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (people get refunds?)
And, best of all...
11. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
The Washington Post's STYLE INVITATIONAL asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some recent winners:
1. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
5. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
6. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
7. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
8. Glibido: All talk and no action.
9. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
10. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (people get refunds?)
And, best of all...
11. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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