Why Prince had it coming


A lot of people mourn the Dead Guy formerly known as “Prince” today, but it’s a great thing.

English: Singer Prince In Madame Tussaud Wax M...

Almost as creepy as in reality in Madame Tussaud Wax Museum, Amsterdam (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2016 already took a huge toll on artists: David Bowie, Hugh Hefner and Hans Gruber are all on their way to Sto’Vo’Kor, where Kahless awaits for singing, drinking and fighting in the halls of the holy dead. However, this also means they cannot come back for a glorious return on stage whenever the cocaine runs out.

Enter the “new” guys.
A brilliant many artists lurk in the shadows of those strange, great guys who became famous 30 years ago. I’m not sure if that is really deserved. With all the talk of those glorious artists reinventing themselves over and over what good did Bowie do in the last ten years? For you, personally?

Of course it’s hard to see how cake-throwing EDM DJs or bloody  Rihanna could take up the baton. Fuck Rihanna. However, Lady Gaga would have been an amazing super rock star in the 80s. I’m a big admirer of her body ..of work.

Lady GaGa concert

Not pictured: my pokerface (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There’s Major Lazer, Die Antwoord and Skrillex is still alive. How could they reach their full potential with Elvis still kicking? Nobody would have noticed these odd-jobs if fucking Frank Sinatra still ratted the pack in 2015, or Amadeus Mozart would still rock us. So why don’t you sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. You’re being the creep that asks for a Cure song at a techno party. So long Prince, and thanks for the fish.

Guys, it’s not like Phil Collins bit the dust or something.



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Chris Maestro runs the Death Star this website. Everyone wants to challenge him to a fight to the death.

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