“No vampires at our school” says headmistress


Reports of teenage vampire hooker infestation at Boston Latin School are greatly overblown. And so is your mom.

Quoth boston.com:

Teta and Boston public school officials declined to elaborate on what triggered the unusual message [denying vampiric activity at the school]. They did, however, adamantly offer assurances that no one at the school has been hurt, arrested – or bitten.

“The headmaster believes that the outrageous rumors had reached a point where she had to say something to families to ensure that all students felt safe and respected,” said Chris Horan, School Department spokesman.”

You hear it people, cancel those flights and leave your candy in the jar, no fishes to lure here. We all know teachers would never lie to us.

Also, a respectable expert in the field of gothic porn vampirism is already on the way for firsthand examination! See you soon gentlemen, i’ve got a plane to board


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Chris Maestro runs the Death Star this website. Everyone wants to challenge him to a fight to the death.

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